Rise of the Clegeron : Clegeron NOW
We carry on from the amazing tales of Clegeron Begins. If you haven't read the previous post, good for you. You just saved 5 minutes of your life.
A hung parliament is defined by every lazy persons favourite reference site (Wikipedia) as:
Under a parliamentary system of government, a hung parliament (also known as a minority parliament, a balanced parliament or no overall control) is a legislature in which no political party has an absolute majority of seats.
No one party has an absolute majority of seats. No one wins. In the UK you need 326 seats to have a majority. As the wonderful above graphic, provided to us by the BBC, clearly shows that no one party has 326 seats. No one has won the election outright. If we are to use the second measure of how a fair election is won, by the number of votes placed for a party then the Conservatives win. However that is not how a parliamentary election is decided.
In order to form a government 2 parties would have to agree not to fuck each other up at every turn. So talks began between the parties. Well the Lib Dem's started to talk to both the other large parties (labour and Conservatives), conservatives first as they had one the most seats. As these talks progressed the gopher decided that he would make the ultimate sacrifice and agree to step down as labour leader no later than September in attempt at making a lib/lab coalition tastier than con/lib coalition. After all labour had lost the election even if no one had won it, so it was quite right that the leader of the losing party should not be prime minister in any future government.
Obviously the Tory press went into spaz mode at the thought of Labour getting back into power with the above headlines. Surprisingly though it was the broadcast media that went into full on retard mode showing surprising ignorance of our political system. With commenter's AND presenters both asking the question: "How can a party that has lost the election go onto form a government?!"
Look at the graphic at the top again, the one that shows the seats the number of seats won in this election. No party reaches the 326 "winning post". NO ONE FUCKING WON! Yet hour after hour you hear the same shit on the 24 hour news channels, even the news programs on regular channels. How can a party that has lost the election go onto form a government? By forming a coalition with other parties. Now your probably asking the same questions everyone did at the time, but they didn't win the popular vote. True but if you add the votes for Labour and the Lib Dem's easily more people voted for them. Put another way more people didn't vote for the conservatives than did. So any Lib/Lab coalition would have the popular vote.
The talks with labour to form a coalition to prevent the conservatives from gaining power for one reason or another failed. I believe it was probably the fact that labour were stuck up and didn't want to compromise on their manifesto as much as the conservatives were willing too. Basically the Tory's probably wanted it more and thus were willing to compromise.
The Conservatives and Liberal Democrats eventually struck a deal forming a proper coalition where both parties work together. The Clegeron has arisen.
However listening to the radio and hearing the comments of some of the public people were baffled by this. "Why is da guy dat came third deciding who run's ma life?!".... He's not, "he" ,toff man and the gopher, were working on a deal to form a strong "stable" coalition government to get us out of this economic situation we are in.
Whether or not this coalition lasts or works is a different story altogether. One that I cant be arsed to discuss with myself. My opinion on the coalition it's self is that it's the best deal for the country out of some shit options. I would've preferred a Lib/Lab coalition but that would've just hurt labour's popularity till it destroyed it's self.
This way labour can recover in opposition and renew it's self with a new leadership and less a Orwellian doctrine, hopefully. Meanwhile hopefully again, the Lib Dem's can try and curb the right wing leanings of the Conservatives. We have already seen this with the Conservatives putting plans to up the inheritance tax threshold to £1 Million on hold and instead adopting the Lib dim priority of abolishing the income tax for people that earn less than £10k (poor mofo's init). On the flip side the Conservatives maintain their resistance to the EU (dumb fucks)by making sure that any attempts to transfer more power to the EU be put to a public vote (cause the public really know alot about the EU...) and have made the lib Dem's put on hold their plans of joining the EU.
A new dawn in British politics may or may not have emerged after this election, my worry is that the Lib Dem's will bend over backwards to try and keep the conservatives happy, give up too much and lose any popularity they ever had. That would be a disaster. We need an alternative to Labour and the Conservatives.
Oh you wanted funny? The whole fucking system is a joke. LAUGH!