The Rise of the Clegeron: Clegeron Begins.
As the sun set on Britain last night a new era of peace and co-operation was ushered in. The birds sang the sun shone through the stadium and the wind was not beating down the trees. That long saught after age of peace amongst men has arisen, as the news outlets of this nation claim.
In reality what we are faced with is an intriguing coalition government between the centre left lib dems and the "centre" right wing cuntservatives. A once in a generation opportunity for the lib dems to make a difference in government as opposed to perennially sitting on the opposition benches of Parliament desperately
viaing for attention while the nations retarded tory press constantly ignored them.
(If your waiting for this to get funny you should probably skip to the picture of the chav, if you dont know what one looks like, welcome to our planet, please dont rape and pillage us. )
Well the time for mass ignorance of the Liberal Democats has long sinced passed now. Ever since the first leaders debate the public have taken to the previously unknown Nick Clegg. The party was just considered a local government party a party. No more. The headlights of national power have shone on the party ever since the first debate and the first surge, that was until the actual day of the election.
As exit polls came in it became apparent that the British people suffered from a serious case of amnesia when it came to voting in the booth. Perhaps they needed a picture of Nick Clegg next the lib dem logo, perhaps with a kissing pose. The exit polls showed that the Lib-dems had actually lost seats despite a surge in polls that showed them almost equal with the Tory scum. The voting system had failed them again. 23% of the public vote only 6% behind labour yet they only get 57 seats compared to labours 255. That's our democracy right there, rapeing you with numbers till you scream for mercy from one of the big two, the evil right or the evil left. The moderate centre left gets shafted yet again.
Well not this time cause there was some sense in the voting, the people spoke with their voice and it was probably the correct result, a hung parliament, arrived at by mistake probably, but arrived at none the less. In my language: None of you tossers are good enough, do it together. In chav: Yo blod you best get yo honky ass wit dem other honky's and sort this yo, Shaz let's fuck and make baby to get some dough! In toff: Oh one does say that one can't have these communist's ruin our estate, we must rise up, Sharon fetch me my shotgun I have fox to kill. In BNP: Blimey, Nuff with these Paki's!
Now comes the most retarded part of the entire tale, yes it get's even more special. The astounded confusion of the nation. That's all for Part 1. If you skipped to the chav, there is no funny part. Look out for Part 2 when I can be arsed. Oh and if you find any spelling or grammatical mistakes, do let me know.